Technology has made our lives so much better in so many ways — but when it comes to sex, sometimes it’s just better to keep things old-school. That’s right; all you need for some next-level sex is a pair of handcuffs and a couple of basic sex positions.
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Yup, we saw you perk up in your seat with the mention of handcuffs. Why are handcuffs so damn sexy in the first place? Control — or lack thereof — is a huge factor. And a lot of our attraction to the whole control issue has to do with punching a clock every day.
“For people who have a day-to-day life of being constantly in control, juggling too many tasks with an overload of responsibilities, giving up control in the bedroom can be a huge turn-on,” says sexologist Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast. “It allows them to tap into their bodies sexually and let go without worrying about anyone else’s pleasure but their own. The same goes for someone who is more passive in their day-to-day life. It’s arousing to be the dominant, to be the one in control, calling the shots and orchestrating the entire scene.”
Here are four positions with handcuffs that are going to totally take your sex life to the next level.
The Kinky Missionary
Image: SheKnows Design
How you do it: “The person on the receiving end lies on her back, hands overhead and cuffed,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations. “You can up the ante with a second pair of cuffs on the ankles if the bed has legs to loop the cuff’s chain or a length of rope to. The dominant person is on top, probably talking dirty.”
Why it feels so good: “Anyone who already loves missionary position loves it because of the full-body contact and face-to-face intimacy,” she says. “This allows those elements to remain very important and adds a touch of power play: Hands over head and bound exposes the breasts and gives her more of a feeling of being ravished. If someone likes bondage, the immobility and ravishment are generally part of its delight. The ‘top’ gets the delicious feeling of power and that the ‘bottom’ is there for the taking — quite literally.”
2. Queening in Bondage
Image: SheKnows Design
How you do it: “For this position, the submissive partner is on the bottom. ‘Queening’ is also known as ‘sitting on his face,’ so this is an oral sex position where the woman gets lovely licks while the man’s wrists are bound above his head; she just has to take care not to put her weight on his arms when settling in to be pleasured. This could also be modified to involve woman-on-top intercourse but with the bottom cuffed,” Queen says.
Why it feels so good: “One thing the Fifty Shades of Grey reader doesn’t really get is a positive look at a woman on top,” she says. “‘Queening’ is a very good tease position, where the top person almost lowers herself onto the bottom person but doesn’t quite make contact… ’till their partner begs!”
Next Up: Hands Behind Ankles
Originally published Feb. 2015. Updated June 2017.